Saturday, April 30, 2011

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Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces. ~Judith Viorst



They say that we are better educated than our parents' generation. What they mean is that we go to school longer. It is not the same thing. ~Richard Yates



You are the music while the music lasts. ~T.S. Eliot



Middle age is youth without its levity, and age without decay. ~Daniel Defoe



It's never safe to be nostalgic about something until you're absolutely certain there's no chance of its coming back. ~Bill Vaughn



Things are only impossible until they're not. ~Jean-Luc Picard, Star Trek: The Next Generation



Equipped with his five senses, man explores the universe around him and calls the adventure Science. ~Edwin Powell Hubble, The Nature of Science, 1954



All normal people love meat. If I went to a barbeque and there was no meat, I would say, "Yo Goober! Where's the meat?" I'm trying to impress people here, Lisa. You don't win friends with salad. ~Matt Groening, The Simpsons, spoken by the character Homer Simpson



A university is just a group of buildings gathered around a library. ~Shelby Foote



Most beds sleep up to six cats. Ten cats without the owner. ~Stephen Baker



I never knew whether to pity or congratulate a man on coming to his senses. ~William Makepeace Thackeray



Criticism, like rain, should be gentle enough to nourish a man's growth without destroying his roots. ~Frank A. Clark



Whatever the American's are proud of - whatever they consider to be particularly good, useful, brilliant, or characteristic of themselves or their climate, they designate, half in jest, though scarcely half in earnest, as an "institution." Thus the memory of George Washington... is an institution; the Falls of Niagara are an institution; the Plymouth Rock, on which the Pilgrim Fathers first set foot, is an institution...; "Sweet potatoes" are an institution, and Pumpkin (or Punkin) pie is an institution; ...squash is an institution; Bunker Hill is an institution; and the firemen of New York are a great institution. ~Charles Mackay, Life and Liberty in America, 1850



When I work I relax; doing nothing or entertaining visitors makes me tired. ~Pablo Picasso



Sometimes... when you hold out for everything, you walk away with nothing. ~From the television show Ally McBeal



I fish better with a lit cigar; some people fish better with talent. ~Nick Lyons, Bright Rivers, 1977



One does evil enough when one does nothing good. ~German Proverb



There is no trouble so great or grave that cannot be much diminished by a nice cup of tea. ~Bernard-Paul Heroux



No excellent soul is exempt from a mixture of madness. ~Aristotle



Some people never have anything except ideals. ~E.W. Howe

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Truly, that reason upon which we plume ourselves, though it may answer for little things, yet for great decisions is hardly surer than a toss-up. ~Charles Sanders Peirce



Before we work on artificial intelligence why don't we do something about natural stupidity? ~Steve Polyak



It is great to get praise from the lips of taciturnity. ~John Addington Symonds



To know what you prefer, instead of humbly saying "Amen" to what the world tells you you ought to prefer, is to keep your soul alive. ~Robert Louis Stevenson



True silence is the rest of the mind, and is to the spirit what sleep is to the body, nourishment and refreshment. ~William Penn



Eat right, exercise regularly, die anyway. ~Author Unknown



A society that gives to one class all the opportunities for leisure, and to another all the burdens of work, dooms both classes to spiritual sterility. ~Lewis Mumford



Men are generally more careful of the Breed of their Horses and Dogs than of their Children. ~William Penn, Fruits of Solitude



A mind always employed is always happy. This is the true secret, the grand recipe, for felicity. ~Thomas Jefferson



How cunningly nature hides every wrinkle of her inconceivable antiquity under roses and violets and morning dew! ~Ralph Waldo Emerson



A barking dog is often more useful than a sleeping lion. ~Washington Irving, adapted from a verse in the Bible



History balances the frustration of "how far we have to go" with the satisfaction of "how far we have come." It teaches us tolerance for the human shortcomings and imperfections which are not uniquely of our generation, but of all time. ~Lewis F. Powell, Jr.



If sisters were free to express how they really feel, parents would hear this: "Give me all the attention and all the toys and send Rebecca to live with Grandma." ~Linda Sunshine



From the bitterness of disease man learns the sweetness of health. ~Catalan Proverb



The only people who find what they are looking for in life are the fault finders. ~Foster's Law



Presidents and presidential assassins are like Las Vegas and Salt Lake City. Even though one city is all about sin and the other is all about salvation, they are identical, one-dimensional company towns built up by the sheer will of true believers. ~Sarah Vowell



Great food is like great sex. The more you have the more you want. ~Gael Greene



The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. ~Mark Twain The only way to lose weight is to check it as airline baggage. ~Peggy Ryan



If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books. ~Alan King



I thank you God for this most amazing day, for the leaping greenly spirits of trees, and for the blue dream of sky and for everything which is natural, which is infinite, which is yes. ~e.e. cummings

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Without wearing any mask we are conscious of, we have a special face for each friend. ~Oliver Wendell Holmes, Journals, 1843



In the end, who among us does not choose to be a little less right to be a little less lonely. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com



May you get to Heaven a half hour before the Devil knows you're dead. ~Irish Proverb



Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius - and a lot of courage - to move in the opposite direction. ~E.F. Schumacher



A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. ~Francis O'Walsh



Oh God, if there be cricket in heaven, let there also be rain. ~Alec Douglas Home



Dogs have given us their absolute all. We are the center of their universe. We are the focus of their love and faith and trust. They serve us in return for scraps. It is without a doubt the best deal man has ever made. ~Roger Caras



He only salutes the flag with one finger. ~The Simpsons



I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round apart from the veneration due to its sacred name and origin, if anything belonging to it can be apart from that - as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time. ~Charles Dickens



You must not blame me if I do talk to the clouds. ~Henry David Thoreau



The lovers of romance can go elsewhere for satisfaction but where can the lovers of truth turn if not to history? ~Katharine Anthony



Fear less, hope more; eat less, chew more; whine less, breathe more; talk less, say more; hate less, love more; and all good things are yours. ~Swedish Proverb



If I had been the Virgin Mary, I would have said "No." ~Margaret "Stevie" Smith



Her hair possessed so powerful an animal odor and was so electrically stimulating, that its mere contact with my skin instantaneously made me forget fever, fatigue and pain... and I immediately felt heroic ardor and new strength flowing and surging through my veins. ~"The Garden," Chapter 1



Tradition: sit with husband in a room lit only by tree lights and remember that our blessings outnumber the lights. Happy Christmas to all. ~Betsy Canas Garmon, www.wildthymecreative.com



Let the dead bury their dead. ~Matthew 8:22



Sometimes age succeeds, sometimes it fails. It depends on you. ~Ravensara Noite



I'm a great believer in luck and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it. ~Thomas Jefferson



Man is the only creature that dares to light a fire and live with it. The reason? Because he alone has learned to put it out. ~Henry Jackson Vandyke, Jr.



It is a hard matter, my fellow citizens, to argue with the belly, since it has no ears. ~Plutarch

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The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! ~Martin H. Fischer



It is impossible to imagine the universe run by a wise, just and omnipotent God, but it is quite easy to imagine it run by a board of gods. ~H.L. Mencken



There are things I have wanted so long that I would only consent to have them if I could keep wanting them. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com



Although there are many trial marriages... there is no such thing as a trial child. ~Gail Sheehy



Silence is a text easy to misread. ~A.A. Attanasio



It is sometimes as dangerous to be run into by a microbe as by a trolley car. ~J.J. Walsh



Your Business clothes are naturally attracted to staining liquids. This attraction is strongest just before an important meeting. ~Scott Adams



Thus Dante's motto over Inferno applies with equal force to marriage: "Ye who enter here leave all hope behind." ~Emma Goldman, Marriage and Love



If I am not for myself, who will be? ~Pirke Avoth



Psychoanalysis is a technique we practice at our cost; psychoanalysis degrades our risks, our dangers, our depths; it strips us of our impurities, of all that made us curious about ourselves. ~E.M. Cioran



A kiss that speaks volumes is seldom a first edition. ~Clare Whiting



The emotional, sexual, and psychological stereotyping of females begins when the doctor says, "It's a girl." ~Shirley Chisholm



A chord, stronger or weaker, is snapped asunder in every parting, and time's busy fingers are not practiced in re-splicing broken ties. Meet again you may; will it be in the same way? With the same sympathies? With the same sentiments? Will the souls, hurrying on in diverse paths, unite once more, as if the interval had been a dream? Rarely, rarely! ~Edward George Earle Bulwer-Lytton



Fire and gunpowder do not sleep together. ~Proverb



Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go. ~Oscar Wilde



But when the time comes that a man has had his dinner, then the true man comes to the surface. ~Mark Twain



Seven days of no swimming makes one weak. ~Author Unknown



His voice was as intimate as the rustle of sheets. ~Dorothy Parker



But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see.



Ever occur to you why some of us can be this much concerned with animals suffering? Because government is not. Why not? Animals don't vote. ~Paul Harvey

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The more things a man is ashamed of, the more respectable he is. ~G.B. Shaw, Man and Superman, 1905



Who says nothing is impossible. I've been doing nothing for years. ~Author Unknown



It was a book to kill time for those who like it better dead. ~Rose Macaulay



On rare occasions one does hear of a miraculous case of a married couple falling in love after marriage, but on close examination it will be found that it is a mere adjustment to the inevitable. ~Emma Goldman, Marriage and Love



I'm proud to pay taxes in the United States; the only thing is, I could be just as proud for half the money. ~Arthur Godfrey



Perhaps history is a thing that would stop happening if God held His breath, or could be imagined as turning away to think of something else. ~Herbert Butterfield, Christianity and History



I see my body as an instrument, rather than an ornament. ~Alanis Morissette, quoted in Reader's Digest, March 2000



Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is really quite as satisfying as an income tax refund. ~F.J. Raymond



Thinking is what a great many people think they are doing when they are merely rearranging their prejudices. ~William James



People will accept your idea much more readily if you tell them Benjamin Franklin said it first. ~David H. Comins



A man hasn't got a corner on virtue just because his shoes are shined. ~Anne Petry



Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country. ~Steven Wright



In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls. ~Lenny Bruce



It is to the credit of human nature, that, except where its selfishness is brought into play, it loves more readily than it hates. Hatred, by a gradual and quiet process, will even be transformed to love, unless the change be impeded by a continually new irritation of the original feeling of hostility. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne, The Scarlet Letter, Chapter XIII "Another View of Hester"



If you wonder where your child left his roller skates, try walking around the house in the dark. ~Leopold Fechtner



Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun. ~Jim Bishop



I have fallen in love with American names, the sharp, gaunt names that never get fat. ~Stephen Vincent Benet



The scratches in Yoko Ono records are moments of relief. ~S.A. Sachs



To me education is a leading out of what is already there in the pupil's soul. To Miss Mackay it is a putting in of something that is not there, and that is not what I call education. I call it intrusion. ~Muriel Spark, The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie



People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life. ~Faith Resnick

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What do you call a cyclist who doesn't wear a helmet? An organ donor. ~David Perry



There are but three events in a man's life: birth, life, and death. He is not conscious of being born, he dies in pain, and he forgets to live. ~Jean de la Bruyere



Programming is similar to a game of golf. The point is not getting the ball in the hole but how many strokes it takes. ~Harlan Mills



A neurotic's problems are invisible to others - and to himself, as well. ~Terri Guillemets



No good neurotic finds it difficult to be both opinionated and indecisive. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960



I want to get a tattoo of myself on my entire body, only two inches taller. ~Steven Wright



First God created time; then God created man that man might, in the course of time, perfect himself; then God decided that He'd better create eternity. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com



There is something in sickness that breaks down the pride of manhood. ~Charles Dickens



When most people see an adult skipping they assume it must be on the way either to or from the asylum. ~Terri Guillemets



Nothing there but basketball, a game which won't be fit for people until they set the basket umbilicus-high and return the giraffes to the zoo. ~Ogden Nash



More than anything else the sensation is one of perfect peace mingled with an excitement that strains every nerve to the utmost, if you can conceive of such a combination. ~Wilbur Wright



We are not the same persons this year as last; nor are those we love. It is a happy chance if we, changing, continue to love a changed person. ~W. Somerset Maugham



It's one-on-one out there, man. There ain't no hiding. I can't pass the ball. ~Pete Sampras It's only a matter of inches, but skipping gets me just that much closer to heaven. ~Jessi Lane Adams



Civilization... wrecks the planet from seafloor to stratosphere. ~Richard Bach



A criminal becomes a popular figure because he unburdens in no small degree the consciences of his fellow man, for now they know once more where evil is to be found. ~Carl G. Jung



A touchstone to determine the actual worth of an "intellectual" - find out how he feels about astrology. ~Robert A. Heinlein



There is no gravity. The earth sucks. ~Graffito



If you don't take care of yourself, the undertaker will overtake that responsibility for you. ~Carrie Latet



A good teacher is like a candle - it consumes itself to light the way for others. ~Author Unknown



One of irony's greatest accomplishments is that one cannot punish the wrongdoing of another without committing a wrongdoing himself. ~Anonymous

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The important thing today is not what we say of Lincoln but what Lincoln would say of us if he were here in this hour and could note the drift and tendency in American life and American politics. ~Stephen Samuel Wise



A man ought not never to get drunk above the neck. ~Author Unknown



Defining myself, as opposed to being defined by others, is one of the most difficult challenges I face. ~Carol Moseley-Braun



A fellow ought to save a few of the long evenings he spends with his girl till after they're married. ~Kin Hubbard



Henceforth I ask not good-fortune, I myself am good-fortune. ~Walt Whitman



I prefer a bike to a horse. The brakes are more easily checked. ~Lambert Jeffries



Modesty is the gentle art of enhancing your charm by pretending not to be aware of it. ~Oliver Herford



I am getting old and the sign of old age is that I begin to philosophize and ponder over problems which should not be my concern at all. ~Jawaharlal Nehru



Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed. ~Mark Twain



The tassel's worth the hassle! ~Author Unknown



Lovers of air travel find it exhilarating to hang poised between the illusion of immortality and the fact of death. ~Alexander Chase, "Perspectives," 1966



Time is a physician that heals every grief. ~Diphilus



We don't give our criminals much punishment, but we sure give 'em plenty of publicity. ~Will Rogers



If you shut your door to all errors truth will be shut out. ~Rabindranath Tagore, Stray Birds, 1916



A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don't have a J.O.B. ~"Fats" Domino



Heaven is under our feet, as well as over our heads. ~Henry David Thoreau



It is better to be bold than too circumspect, because fortune is of a sex which likes not a tardy wooer and repulses all who are not ardent. ~Machiavelli



When they start the game, they don't yell, "Work ball." They say, "Play ball." ~Willie Stargell, 1981



Angels are all around us, all the time, in the very air we breathe. ~Quoted in The Angels' Little Instruction Book by Eileen Elias Freeman, 1994 Angels are all around us, all the time, in the very air we breathe. ~Quoted in The Angels' Little Instruction Book by Eileen Elias Freeman, 1994



We are wide-eyed in contemplating the possibility that life may exist elsewhere in the universe, but we wear blinders when contemplating the possibilities of life on earth. ~Norman Cousins

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If your children spend most of their time in other people's houses, you're lucky; if they all congregate at your house, you're blessed. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966



The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat. ~Lily Tomlin



Conservatism is the policy of make no change and consult your grandmother when in doubt. ~Woodrow Wilson



Take care of the earth and she will take care of you. ~Author Unknown



Horses - if God made anything more beautiful, he kept it for himself. ~Author Unknown



If the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls' sports, such as hot oil wrestling, foxy boxing, and such and such. ~Homer Simpson, The Simpsons



There is much in the world to make us afraid. There is much more in our faith to make us unafraid. ~Frederick W. Cropp



Nature's laws affirm instead of prohibit. If you violate her laws you are your own prosecuting attorney, judge, jury, and hangman. ~Luther Burbank



Hope itself is a species of happiness, and, perhaps, the chief happiness which this world affords; but, like all other pleasures immoderately enjoyed, the excesses of hope must be expiated by pain. ~Samuel Johnson



People will accept your idea much more readily if you tell them Benjamin Franklin said it first. ~David H. Comins



As long as the world is turning and spinning, we're gonna be dizzy and we're gonna make mistakes. ~Mel Brooks



Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too? ~Douglas Adams



You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets. ~Nora Ephron



The prime purpose of being four is to enjoy being four - of secondary importance is to prepare for being five. ~Jim Trelease, The Read-Aloud Handbook, 1985



In Physic, things of melancholic hue and quality are used against melancholy, sour against sour, salt to remove salt humours. ~John Milton



We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today. ~Stacia Tauscher



Maybe the older you grow and the less easy it is to put thought into action, maybe that's why it gets all locked up in your head and becomes a burden. ~Truman Capote, Breakfast at Tiffany's, 1958



To alcohol, the cause and solution to all of life's problems. ~Homer Simpson



Dance is the only art of which we ourselves are the stuff of which it is made. ~Ted Shawn, Time, 25 July 1955



I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read and all the friends I want to see. ~John Burroughs

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Well-trained reflexes are quicker than luck. ~Author Unknown



Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love! ~Hamilton Wright Mabie



The mark of highest originality lies in the ability to develop a familiar idea so fruitfully that it would seem no one else would ever have discovered so much to be hidden in it. ~Goethe



I guess, when you get down to it, a loving touch compensates for an unskilled hand about everywhere except in an airplane cockpit. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com



The radical novelty of modern science lies precisely in the rejection of the belief, which is at the heart of all popular religion, that the forces which move the stars and atoms are contingent upon the preferences of the human heart. ~Walter Lippmann



Cockroaches really put my "all creatures great and small" creed to the test. ~Astrid Alauda



I am pushing sixty. That is enough exercise for me. ~Mark Twain



When babies look beyond you and giggle, maybe they're seeing angels. ~Quoted in The Angels' Little Instruction Book by Eileen Elias Freeman, 1994



Bachelor: the only man who has never told his wife a lie. ~Author Unknown



All of us encounter, at least once in our life, some individual who utters words that make us think forever. There are men whose phrases are oracles; who can condense in one sentence the secrets of life; who blurt out an aphorism that forms a character, or illustrates an existence. ~Benjamin Disraeli



Much good work is lost for the lack of a little more. ~Edward H. Harriman



There's nothing better than a good friend, except a good friend with chocolate. ~Linda Grayson, "The Pickwick Papers"



If the World Series runs until election day, the networks will run the first one-half inning and project the winner. ~Lindsey Nelson



No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens. ~Abraham Lincoln



Science is now the craft of the manipulation, substitution and deflection of the forces of nature. What I see coming is a gigantic slaughterhouse, an Auschwitz, in which valuable enzymes, hormones, and so on will be extracted instead of gold teeth. ~Erwin Chargaff, Columbia Forum, Summer 1969



Laws are only words written on paper, words that change on society's whim and are interpreted differently daily by politicians, lawyers, judges, and policemen. Anyone who believes that all laws should always be obeyed would have made a fine slave catcher. Anyone who believes that all laws are applied equally, despite race, religion, or economic status, is a fool. ~John J. Miller, And Hope to Die



A memorandum is written not to inform the reader but to protect the writer. ~Dean Acheson



The finest thing in the world is knowing how to belong to oneself. ~Michel de Montaigne, Of Solitude



Easy reading is damn hard writing. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne



The radical novelty of modern science lies precisely in the rejection of the belief, which is at the heart of all popular religion, that the forces which move the stars and atoms are contingent upon the preferences of the human heart. ~Walter Lippmann