best friends quotes funny short

Every day is conquerable by its hours, and every hour by its minutes. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com



Envy assails the noblest: the winds howl around the highest peaks. ~Ovid



We are the heirs of a past of rope, fire, and murder. I for one am not ashamed of this past. My shame is for those who became so inhuman that they could inflict this torture upon us. ~Martin Luther King, Jr.



I've always said there's a place for the press but they haven't dug it yet. ~Tommy Docherty, 1980



There's only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self. ~Aldous Huxley, Time Must Have a Stop



You make me sick! You are offered meat and you choose a banana-split-with-nuts. ~Martin H. Fischer



The cruelest lies are often told in silence. ~Adlai Stevenson



Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else. ~Will Rogers



Investors have very short memories. ~Roman Abramovich



If God dropped acid, would he see people? ~Steven Wright



Character is higher than intellect. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson



Firefighters are hot stuff! ~Author Unknown



Tea is drunk to forget the din of the world. ~T'ien Yiheng



Some people take more care to hide their wisdom than their folly. ~Jonathan Swift, Thoughts on Various Subjects, 1711



When you aim for perfection, you discover it's a moving target. ~George Fisher



The family is one of nature's masterpieces. ~George Santayana, The Life of Reason



Some people skate to the puck. I skate to where the puck is going to be. ~Wayne Gretzky



It is impossible to believe that the same God who permitted His own son to die a bachelor regards celibacy as an actual sin. ~H.L. Mencken



Sometimes I get the feeling the aspirin companies are sponsoring my headaches. ~Terri Guillemets



Home is the one place in all this world where hearts are sure of each other. It is the place of confidence. It is the place where we tear off that mask of guarded and suspicious coldness which the world forces us to wear in self-defense, and where we pour out the unreserved communications of full and confiding hearts. It is the spot where expressions of tenderness gush out without any sensation of awkwardness and without any dread of ridicule. ~Frederick W. Robertson Home is where you can say anything you like cause nobody listens to you anyway. ~Author Unknown