funny quotes about family

Society is doing a great deal for the workingman, for the lower classes; but it seems to me, sometimes, as if it formed associations to obtain for them toys, and then formed other associations to teach them to play with them. ~John B. Gough



If a man had as many ideas during the day as he does when he has insomnia, he'd make a fortune. ~Griff Niblack



He who has gone, so we but cherish his memory, abides with us, more potent, nay, more present than the living man. ~Antoine de Saint-Exupery



The more humanity advances, the more it is degraded. ~Gustave Flaubert



A "gimme" can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers, neither of whom can putt very well. ~Author Unknown



When did the future switch from being a promise to being a threat? ~Chuck Palahniuk



On the one hand, shopping is dependable: You can do it alone, if you lose your heart to something that is wrong for you, you can return it; it's instant gratification and yet something you buy may well last for years. ~Judith Krantz



Poets are like baseball pitchers. Both have their moments. The intervals are the tough things. ~Robert Frost



Homecoming means parades, football and reuniting with old friends. And as I recall from my youth, a little beer. ~J. Wilson



We are double-edged blades, and every time we whet our virtue the return stroke strops our vice. ~Henry David Thoreau



The lovely thing about being forty is that you can appreciate twenty-five-year-old men more. ~Colleen McCullough



No place is boring, if you've had a good night's sleep and have a pocket full of unexposed film. ~Robert Adams, Darkroom & Creative Camera Techniques, May 1995



Tough and funny and a little bit kind: that is as near to perfection as a human being can be. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966



He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else. ~Benjamin Franklin



I have an idea that the phrase "weaker sex" was coined by some woman to disarm some man she was preparing to overwhelm. ~Ogden Nash



If you just set people in motion they'll heal themselves. ~Gabrielle Roth



I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me they are the role model for being alive. ~Gilda Radner



If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us. ~Hermann Hesse



One half of knowing what you want is knowing what you must give up before you get it. ~Sidney Howard



To live is like to love - all reason is against it, and all healthy instinct for it. ~Samuel Butler